A couple of weeks ago we had a week away in Filey, we go every year and were really looking forward to having lots of fun and spending some quality time with the kids. It all started off great, they'd given out bad weather but the day we arrived it was sunny and really warm so we had a lovely walk to the park and along the beach front. Before heading back to the caravan we needed to pop in Tesco for a few bits and that was where my worst nightmare came true.........we lost Summer's beloved blanket also known as Kie.
We know she had it in Tesco car park because we were laughing at her playing with it and putting it on her head, we were in there for about 10 minutes and when we were walking out I suddenly realised her blanket was gone, she's lost it numerous times before and we've always just re-traced our steps and found it no problem so I went back in to look for it but it was nowhere to be found. We must have searched that shop top to bottom a hundred times, we asked members of staff, security and customer services and nobody knew where it was.
I couldn't bring myself to leave the shop as I knew as soon as we walked away that was it, it was gone. Ian finally convinced me to leave and at this point Summer had no idea that Kie was gone so she was fine, I however was devastated.
Let me explain why, Summer first got attached to her blanket when she was 9 months old and she was seriously ill in hospital with pneumonia. She spent 3 weeks in hospital enduring lots of painful treatments and surgery and that blanket and me were her only comfort, she held onto Kie for dear life every day in hospital and sucked on it for comfort and even after leaving hospital and making a full recovery that blanket never left her side again and she became unable to sleep at all without sucking on it.
Riley has the same blanket but his is blue and I always thought it was so sweet that they both took to the same blanket and vowed that I would keep both of them forever in their keepsake boxes for me to show them when they're older and for me to cry into when they grow up and leave home.
I knew I'd be upset if either of them ever lost their blankets but I wasn't prepared for how upset I was, I cried all the way back to the caravan and I honestly don't think I've ever been so upset about losing something before in my life. That tatty little pink rag meant as much to me as it did to Summer and I just couldn't believe it was gone, Summer finally realised that Kie was gone at bedtime and my heart broke for her as she sobbed for 3 hours and said "Kie" over and over. She was inconsolable and finally cried herself to sleep which then resulted in me crying myself to sleep too, I couldn't bear to see her so upset.
I hate to see either of my children upset but I'm definitely more bothered by Summer crying, I let her get away with things I would never allow Riley to because I just can't stand to see her cry and I think it's all down to seeing her cry so much in hospital, it was so awful that I felt like I have to do everything I can to make sure she never feels that upset again.
After losing Summer's blanket I felt like our holiday was ruined and it was only the first day, I was so down about it I just wanted to pack up and go home. We kept going back to Tesco to see if anyone had found it and had no luck but deep down I knew what had happened to it, it was such a dirty, tatty looking thing that I'm pretty sure whoever found it would have put it straight in the bin and it breaks my heart to think about Summer's precious Kie tossed in a bin with all of the rubbish, it's just so sad. I could actually cry now just thinking about it, how stupid is that?
I told myself that I needed to try and put on a brave face and enjoy the rest of the holiday for the children's sake especially Riley who was having a great time. We actually ended up having a really lovely time even though the nights were hard Summer seemed to forget about her blanket during the day. I looked into replacing Summer's blanket but the toy that it came with the Leap Frog Twinkle Twinkle Little Violet has been discontinued and is only available to buy on Ebay for ridiculous prices.
We've been home for over a week now and Summer still won't settle very well at night, she used to happily go to bed with her blanket at 6pm and now we're lucky if we can get her to go down before 10pm. Naps in the day are hit and miss, she used to have a good 2/3 hour nap at lunch time but she doesn't want to go to bed anymore even though she's exhausted. Losing her blanket seems to have made her incredibly insecure and she's become very clingy again, I worry that she thinks that we have taken Kie away as she doesn't understand that she lost it and I don't want her to feel like she's being punished.
To anyone who hasn't had a child that is attached to a blanket or toy I probably sound like a complete idiot but this whole experience has honestly really upset me, I'd do anything to have that dirty pink blanket back, for Summer and for me. She still asks for it and it still breaks my heart every time, I just hope she forgets about it soon and maybe becomes attached to something else to give her the comfort that she craves.